Monday, February 9, 2009

they show up to the party, but they're never asked to dance

I've always been a bit of an outsider. I've never really been shunned and I wouldn't call myself an outcast, but I tend to exist just outside any clean parameters.

I was too smart to be a normal kid, but not smart enough to be prodigal.
I wasn't cool enough for the cool crowd or weird enough for the weird crowd.
I'm cute but not beautiful, talented but not exceptional.
I'm not a part of any crowd or movement, but I hover in the peripheries.

And those things have never bothered me. I tend to be a loner at heart and sometimes I'm even a little intimidated by the prospect of acceptance. I still don't get invited to all the hip parties, but I'm well-liked enough that I'm certainly not in danger of becoming a hermit.

But here's what I do wonder: As an adult, what does it mean to belong? How does acceptance play into adulthood? Does it matter? Should it matter? I truly don't know my thoughts on this yet, which is why I ask. Things I've been considering in regards to this question: career vs. social life, networking, relationships (the functional, adult kind), grown-up friendships.

Maybe I'll think more on this and have more to say once I get some opinions.

6 comments:

DyersEve726 said...

I think a lot about this, as I'm nudging closer and closer to the honest to god hermit lifestyle. Sometimes I wonder how easy it would be to break from society altogether. Would that tug for love and laughter be there till the end of time, or do you just forget and stop caring? I feel like I have so much to offer the world and no way of dishing it out, it's frustrating, and it makes me want to hide away forever!

Christi said...

Man, I'm just talking about social acceptance. You're bringing up a whole other ball of wax.

Here's what I say to that: Have you read/seen "Into the Wild"? I think it answers the question, "...do you just forget and stop caring?" You don't. I understand, in a sense, wanting to hide away as you put it, and as that guy did, but what a selfish thing to do! I think his story proves that just because you don't need (or don't think you need) loved ones, doesn't mean loved ones don't need you.

Any person who ceases to feel that tug has lost their humanity and is a truly sad case.

DyersEve726 said...

Way to make me feel shitty about myself :)

DyersEve726 said...

And yes, I read the book.

Christi said...

It wasn't meant to make you feel shitty. In fact, it was my misguided attempt at making you rethink resorting to the hermit life.

Maybe I was wrong when I claimed to not be socially retarded.

DyersEve726 said...

No worries, I wasn't actually upset...only giving you a hard time.

Off to work :)